Game Opinion – 18 Signs you are in a Legend of Zelda game

1. As the (human) protagonist, you never speak, but it is perfectly normal for owls, trees, scarecrows, and gigantic airborne fish to do so.

2. You have multiple suitors. One of them is not human.

3. You possess the ability to turn back time using a musical instrument.

4. There is a large, overly attached owl with a nervous twitch who enjoys nothing more than stalking you and demonstrating its public speaking skills.

5. Finding and falling down into random potholes is a good thing.

6. You encounter a fairy who proceeds to nag, harass and insult you throughout the course of your friendship under the pretext of ‘advice’.

7. It is in your destiny to never have pure sleep, even in your dreams.

8. One of your best friends is actually an omnipotent being from another realm.

9. One of your adversaries is obsessed with paintings, and turning people into paintings. After watching a few episodes of Antiques Roadshow, you can’t blame them. Those things fetch quite a large amount of money.

10. On that note, you can also find large amounts of money hiding in bushes, pots, under rocks, and beneath the grass. You never stop to wonder how it got there, or how it is continuously replenished.

11. You empathise strongly with Jim Carrey’s character in The Mask.

12. You become acquainted with a grown man dressed in a green onesie who sells maps for a living. He insists that he is a ‘fairy’.

13. Aliens are real and have a predilection for abducting thoroughbred cows.

14. Glass bottles are a rare, luxury item. They are also multifunctional, and serve as an excellent storage vessel for milk, magic potions, bugs, and ghosts. You never wash them.

15. It is a well-known fact that feeding horses carrots makes them run faster.

16. You acquire magic beans from a merchant who keeps on raising the price each time you buy them. This does not seem manipulative to you.

17. Princesses are exceptional at cross-dressing. When it is revealed that they aren’t male, it comes as a complete surprise.

18. You keep bumping into a mysterious individual who dresses in a blue bodysuit and a tight head wrap encasing suspiciously familiar blonde hair. When the two of you do meet, there is a tacit mutual agreement that they recite vague poetry and provide you with a free music lesson.

*Note: This piece was inspired by the ‘How to tell if you are in a book’ series which appears on The Toast

4 thoughts on “Game Opinion – 18 Signs you are in a Legend of Zelda game

  1. This made me laugh! 😀

    I thought 18 was particularly funny. “When the two of you do meet, there is a tacit mutual agreement that they recite vague poetry and provide you with a free music lesson.” Love it. Good idea for a post.

    1. Hi Pooky I’m glad you liked it 😀 Yeah haha isn’t it funny how we come to expect it as NORMAL in the game though? In what version of reality would anyone go along with that…XD

      1. It really is 🙂 lol, if that happened in reality I’d feel very out of my depth. ‘Oh, no, do they expect me to recite poetry back to them??? Agh!!! I’m not that creative!’

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